Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies​

For the older folk, enjoy the memories

EATING IN THE FIFTIES and SIXTIES.

Pasta was not eaten in Australia.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

All potato chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.

Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.

Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating; fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Sugar enjoyed good press in those days, and was being sold as white gold.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Fish didn't have fingers.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughingstock!

>But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties ...Elbows or Phones.





I met him online. He sounded nice and said he lived in a gated community. He never mentioned the razor wire on the walls.

Some people say the glass is half full; others say it is half empty; engineers say the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

They say every piece of chocolate eaten shortens your life by two minutes. I've done the maths. Seems I died in 1537.

Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up.

I saw this new motor bike. It has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wheels frame and a wooden tank. I wanted to take it for a test ride but it wooden start.
 
A few favorite quotes:

-when you come to a fork in the road, take it! Yogi Berra

-never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Mark Twain

-i have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.'. I spent all last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.'. Steven Wright

-'if I were your wife, i'd put poison in your tea!'
'if I were your husband I'd drink it.' Winston Churchill
 
True story.
I spent yesterday tearing the dash apart on my Land Rover Donor car. I pulled the heater blower box and heater core out. I disassembled everything to modify for my CJ5 project. The blower box and fan were full of leaves and all sorts of stuff. I cleaned everything and tested the fan, that thing moves some air!!!.
When I finished, I gathered up my sweatshirt, gloves, and a couple baseball caps that were disgusting and went right to the laundry room. I stripped my dirty Jeans and t-shirt and threw it all in the washer. Later in the evening, after drying everything, I'm folding clothes and my wife calls me for dinner. I left a couple socks and gloves and t-shirt for later. After dinner my wife looks in the clothes basket and holds up a pair of women's panties and ask "WHO's are these? They are definitely not MINE".
Luckily they still had grease like stains and had obviously been used for a rag, but not by me. I still have no idea how they ended up getting from the Donor car into my laundry. If we hadn't been married for over 40 years, this could have resulted in a divorce!!!
If I could have only seen myself. A big grin on my face carrying my hard worked for Heater box that I only had to destroy half the dash and glove box to get out. Only to have a pair of womens under ware stuck to the velcro strap of my baseball cap.
 
Last edited:
dld said:
A few favorite quotes:

-when you come to a fork in the road, take it! Yogi Berra

-never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Mark Twain

-i have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.'. I spent all last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.'. Steven Wright

-'if I were your wife, i'd put poison in your tea!'
'if I were your husband I'd drink it.' Winston Churchill
Click to expand...
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill
 
I AM POSTING THIS WITH A HEAVY HEART !
All things have to come to an end.
I love my Willys and everything that comes with it, but I have no time to use it….so I am going to give it all up in 2022. This is taking up too much of my time. I am struggling to keep up with work, home chores and the everyday chaos, so something has to give. I have decided to sell off my gear.

Below is a list ofwhat is available. Serious inquiries only, please don’t insult me with low offers.

1. Vacuum cleaner
2. Dustpan and brush
3. Mop and bucket
4. Lawn mower
5. Leaf blower
6. Laundry detergent
7. Iron
8. Broom
9. Dishwashing liquid
10. Misc. other items

PM me for prices

,
 
rocket said:
True story.
I spent yesterday tearing the dash apart on my Land Rover Donor car. I pulled the heater blower box and heater core out. I disassembled everything to modify for my CJ5 project. The blower box and fan were full of leaves and all sorts of stuff. I cleaned everything and tested the fan, that thing moves some air!!!.
When I finished, I gathered up my sweatshirt, gloves, and a couple baseball caps that were disgusting and went right to the laundry room. I stripped my dirty Jeans and t-shirt and threw it all in the washer. Later in the evening, after drying everything, I'm folding clothes and my wife calls me for dinner. I left a couple socks and gloves and t-shirt for later. After dinner my wife looks in the clothes basket and holds up a pair of women's panties and ask "WHO's are these? They are definitely not MINE".
Luckily they still had grease like stains and had obviously been used for a rag, but not by me. I still have no idea how they ended up getting from the Donor car into my laundry. If we hadn't been married for over 40 years, this could have resulted in a divorce!!!
Click to expand...
Errrmmm...how BIG were they? Just saying, if they were small or medium, and worked on cars, just THINK of where their tiny hands could fit in a jeep. Marriage material if I already didn't have a keeper!
 
Another true story.
When my youngest Grand Daughter was just learning to talk. She called any device with a TV type screen, a We-We including cell phones. My son and Daughter in law were out to dinner at a restaurant, and Makayla hasn't figured out the inside vs outside voice yet. She yells out at the top of her lungs. "Da Da can I play with your little We-We?"
 
Not possible. This is not an accident. Individual is over 12 years old and should be capable of thinking of possible outcomes-----don't strike the match if you do not want to roast the marshmallow! Will allow the stupidity of the "accident" so the insurance company has something to do.
 
174727461_10224643313901154_9169576410868961466_n.jpg
 
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