Friday Funnies

rocket said:
Back on the farm in Oklahoma when I was about 5, my 15 year old brother was driving the old flatbed truck. We were coming back from the Local store. I was the youngest and got to sit up front. My 8 year old sister was siting in the back along with my 10 and 13 year old brothers. Coming off the pavement onto the gravel my oldest brother punched it, and my sister went flying onto the gravel. Dad wanted to know how sis got all banged up. No one would say a word, until I blurted out that Leroy was Spinning Hookers. (haven't heard that term in a while) ;)
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"Spinning Hookers"??
 
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far away he asked what she’d like for her birthday.
“I’d like to be 12 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Luna Fun Park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park, Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to McDonalds where he ordered a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge cola, and her favourite sweets. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over to his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like to be 12 again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you retard!!!”
 
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far away he asked what she’d like for her birthday.
“I’d like to be 12 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Luna Fun Park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park, Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to McDonalds where he ordered a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge cola, and her favourite sweets. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over to his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like to be 12 again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you retard!!!”
 
rocket said:
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far away he asked what she’d like for her birthday.
“I’d like to be 12 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Luna Fun Park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park, Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to McDonalds where he ordered a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge cola, and her favourite sweets. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over to his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like to be 12 again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you retard!!!”
Click to expand...
It was funnier the first time ...
 
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